We are in hard times. So many people are struggling in this economy, and musicians are at the center of the line of fire. But is making our next rent payment really our greatest struggle? Or is there something much more threatening coming our way? Perhaps something that threatens the core of how we perceive our own personal existence.
What do we do when many facets of our profession that we once counted on for our livelihood and existential validation face obsoleteness? There are less jobs, and the jobs left are offering far less money. Cutbacks and small buyouts are a popular theme, and for many I know, there are simply too few to no gigs at all.
It's not healthy, but we do tend to define ourselves by what we do, so when the world in which we have defined ourselves starts to crumble, we crumble along with it. The result of which that will really take its toll on us is the question "who are we" now?
Who am I? What should I do? These are a few questions that come to my mind in this state. It's a huge thwarted expectation. We grow up crafting our skills and expect that if we follow a certain path we'll be at certain places by certain points on our timeline. Going to school for music reinforces a lot of this expectation. We learn about what others did, and are filled with the motivation that "I can do it too", and "this is what you can expect" and most of us studied a model that used to work. Wake up call- it doesn't work that way in the arts anymore. No one can give you any answers that hold up beyond today. It's changing too fast.
This expectation began very young for most of us. For me, it happened when I was thirteen. I played my very first concert (which I uploaded for you to see at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1bjDNLiK0A). It was the adrenaline, the lights, the energy of rocking out, whaling on my guitar, and the screaming girls (I'll admit, even though I got into music for the music, those screaming girls didn't hurt).
From that experience, and inspiration from my heroes of the time (Joe Satriani, Pat Metheny, Scott Henderson, Steve Vai, Frank Gambale, Kirk Hammett, and many others) I had a certain specific vision of what I wanted to be and where I wanted to go. Don't get me wrong, I've had a lot of great experiences working as a professional musician, and sometimes people say to me "man, you really made it, you're doing it". But am I? From my perspective and personal expectations of where I would like to be, I'm not. I've satisfied a few things, but as a whole, there are much bigger things I have in mind regarding how I contribute to the world of music and what role I would like to play. But it seems there's no clear model or direction to get there.
Life feels pretty good when there's a clear direction. Clarity and direction is our psychological safety net, but as a musician in 2010 there is none. That doesn't mean we're doomed to fall, it just means we have to approach things different from what we're used to in order to stay up.
Here's what I think has to happen in order to make light out of this darkness- we have to actually become artists. We have to actually become creative. We think we are artists because we are studied, and we make our livings with our art. We think of ourselves as artists because we write songs, chord changes and melodies, record, and do gigs, etc. But really, does that make us artists? I think we are much more interesting than that.
With a changing climate of industry, we now have to be more creative than ever. This is actually good because there's a lot more openness now, and possibility. Creativity has a way of shining through with the internet's monopolizing social networks. In fact, interesting people on youtube are beating professionally trained musicians to the punch of a career in music. This goes to show what people identify with and are interested in. We should take it as a challenge to bring our knowledge to that world. What we are left now with is what we can create, and how we can connect.
We have to be humble enough to let go of any ideas of who we thought we'd be, and where we think we "should be". We have to think outside the box (and not just in the box next door). We have to be strong enough to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We have to be creative people, and not just people who express creative things. And it would be great if we could have a lot of fun doing it!!
-Matthew Haze
www.matthewhaze.com
The degree to which a safety net exists for artists ebbs and flows with so many factors which are completely independent of what you learn in music school - a point you've made. To survive, to get by, to thrive, a musician has to, I think, first and foremost find a way to connect with an audience. Whatever its size, if a tree falls in the forest and no man is there to hear it, the tree can't pay its rent. Even for musicians, we need food, shelter, safety love (roughly in that order).
ReplyDeleteIn my profession, I have to be a psychologist, a CEO, a mentor, a judge/jury, and sometimes a parent just to name a few. Oh but, that's only if I want to be good at what I do. Regardless, it's a choice I can make and still get paid. You, on the other hand, have to figure out which hats you need to wear in order to navigate largely uncharted waters - your 'career' leaves virtually nothing guaranteed.
As scary as that sounds to me, I've always - ALWAYS - admired you for many of the choices you make. You have the freedom to define any aspect of your ambition, and that's more difficult than having something defined for you.
Best of luck to you Mr. Haze.